little bird

What if I was to look at life upside down?

Would I gain a completely different view on things?

Would my life do a 180 on me and start to completely change?

What if I looked at life from a different view?

Author of the moment

My past mistakes have made me who I am today.

If I could go back in time I would have redone many things.

Many, Many, Many things.

People are always saying that you should live with no regrets,

I think that all depends.

I think that when people have to make decisions they should ask themselves,

" Would I regret this?"

I never always asked myself that question...I wish I would have.

I plan on making this new year one that counts.

A good one.

So far I am onto a good start!

I just hope that through all of these decisions I have been making,

that you were the best one yet....

I hope you will be worth it...

Knock on wood!

Conquer my heart.

I dreamt I was lying in my bed and white hands attached to no one came and attacked me.

Grabbing my arms& legs.

Covering my mouth, so no one could hear me scream.

These hands crawled all over my body and attacked me.

They held a firm grip& refused to let go.

I laid there helpless...

---<>---

I fear for my life that this will happen to me.

That something will happen & I will have no control over it...

That no body will hear me scream...

---<>---

I want so badly to trust you.

To let you know my secrets, to let myself be honest with you.

I want to forget this dream, these thoughts.

I want to be happy.

I am trying.

I am trying really hard to make this work.

Trust me.

Strange.

"And who do you think you are

Running 'round leaving scars

Collecting your jar of hearts

And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold

From the ice inside your soul

So don't come back for me

Who do you think you are

I hear you're asking all around

If I am anywhere to be found

But I have grown too strong

To ever fall back in your arms"

You still haunt my thoughts.

I regret you completely.

I wish I never met you and I wish I could take it all back.

I hope you drown in your mistakes& lies.

Rudolph.

Thanksgiving is over and done with& now it is time to move onto Christmas music and decor!
This is my favorite time of year. The music and atmosphere seems to put me at an extremely peaceful state of mind.
I plan on watching as many Christmas movies& listening to as much Christmas music as I want,& I can not wait to begin!

Knock, Knock

is anybody there?

I was born with little patience.

Everyone claims they don't have patience and I find this to be false.

A lot of people are patient in their own little ways.

I find no patience in me at all.

Not one single drop.

When I want something I try to succeed in getting it right away.

Right that second.

Its a horrible thing to possess, no patience.

I find that when I am at a loss of what to do about it, I escape with my pencil and paper,

& I start to draw.

Art is my route to escape.

Four AM shift.

I laid in bed that night not being able to sleep.

I was too excited to fall asleep!

I was afraid that if I fell asleep I would wake up to a reality that I didnt want.

He was too good to be true!

I lay there listening to my clock tick.....wait.

My clock doesnt make that noise......there is someone outside my bedroom.

I lay there, frozen. Trying not to breath for fear it might here me.

......it sounds like rustling.........

*BANG!*

SOMETHING IS IN THE BATHROOM.....or was that the shampoo bottle that slipped....?

Wow, I am overreacting.

Its an old house, of course its going to make noises.

Hours have gone by.

I am still wide awake.

My alarm for work goes off & I hurry out of bed.

I dress warm and head out the door.

As I am pulling out of the drive way I look up at my house.

A chill shoots up my spine as though someone had put ice in my shirt.

There is a man standing inside of my house.

Looking straight at me.

Smiling.

He slaps his hand against my front window & I watch it stick

from the blood that covers it...

He smiles.

Thats when I feel the hands slowly creep around my neck...